https://miarolfe.com/ 2026-11-14T00:00:00+00:00 Mia Rolfe https://miarolfe.com/struggle 2026-11-14T00:00:00+00:00 2026-11-14T00:00:00+00:00

In defense of being bad at things

<div class="note"> Written by me, Mia Rolfe. Just me, warts and all. </div> <p>Now, more than ever, I think it is so very important to bad at things. If you can only ever see human activity through the lens of "producing value", then you won't be able to get what I mean. </p> <p>It was my sincere feeling for years that what matters most when I do any skilled activity is the output. The "end product". The essay, the game, the sculpture. I think this idea came more from a desire to be respected than from anything rational. Sure, I wanted to make games. But even better, I wanted to <i>have made</i> games. To be someone who makes games.</p> <p>This impulse is, I feel, I normal. You want to skip to the good part. You want to have done something cool. That friction, though? That painful, embarrassing friction? It's so important. The thing that makes that end state cool? It's having gone through that slow, frustrating process of developing a skill.</p> <!--I'm struggling to articulate my thoughts on this topic. Articulate them well, articulate them at all. I'm out of practice writing, and I think that shows. And yet, here I am, still doing it. <i>That's good</i>. That <i>matters</i>. The rough edges matter. The shoddy phrasing. The purple prose. Every single little decision you make when you make something shapes all of the ones to follow. It's human.--> <p><img alt="Screenshot from my project Tower of Bagel" src="/images/struggle/tower-of-bagel.png" /></p> <p class="caption">Screenshot of a conversation from Tower of Bagel.</p> <p>When I was 17, I made an adventure game for a game jam called <a href="https://miarolfe.com/projects/towerofbagel">Tower of Bagel</a>. It's not very good, it wouldn't impress anyone you showed it to, and under the hood it is a fucking mess. An absolutely duct-taped amateur project to the very end. It's still one of my favourite things I've ever done. I got two of my best friends to voice characters, and I stretched myself technically and creatively more than I ever had. I wouldn't have changed it for the world, and it was so crucical for my own growth that I had it. Releasing something real, that I did entirely myself, even if flawed... it's something I'm sad more people don't get to feel. I started that project as an amateur, inexperienced tinkerer. I was bad at making video games. I finished it that way too. I also finished it as a more confident person with more to say, and more confidence in saying it.</p> <p>Being bad at something is the natural state of things, and it's wonderful. Don't sell your future self out. Do things the slow, embarassing, painful way, and be okay with it.</p>